Well I dutifully did five days of week 10 plus a little bit of work on an elliptical trainer last week and I felt pretty good about it. I steadily did about 2.85 miles every run and every run, I trimmed a little time off how long it took me to do it. So it was a good week last week, in terms of running. I worked hard, I did my thing, and I think I got good stuff out of it. Wednesday morning is weigh-in so we'll see. ^_^ Hopefully I'll get a pleasant surprise.. I could really, really use one.
This week is Week 11... Which is the week that's finally pushed me over 3 miles. I did 3.10 miles a few minutes ago. :) 3.10 -slow- miles but nevertheless I did a 5k so I know I can do it. For now on it's all about doing a 5k in less time (while lengthening the time i spend running every week, you know how it goes). Today -sucked-. The first day of a new week always sucks a little because I add two minutes to my running time - I start out with no idea how far or long I'm gonna be running so my times and pace are always all messed up. Aaaaand I may or may not have screwed up my nutrition and barely eaten 1000 calories a day for the last... three days or so. It turns out? If you don't get enough calories, carbs, fats, and proteins, this running harder stuff -sucks-. I rolled in today feeling sweaty, tired, and pretty damn nauseous. So take a note Gladys, Arienna needs to -eat-.
I had a long weekend. I'm dealing with.. some stuff right now. It was the weekend of long conversations. Long conversations with Adam, long conversations with Trent, the man I meant to marry... Long conversations all over the place. I don't really wanna explain the background.. I've been running away from the background for the last 8 months and I'm still not... I haven't dealt with it. I have to deal with it in order to remain on speaking terms with myself, but that's gonna take a little while.
The end result of all the talking and crying is I'm going to start taking some time away from Adam. I know he cares about me and that I'm important to him, he says he loves me and I believe him. But he also said, very clearly, that he's just plain not in love with me. And I no longer know what I want or who I am. So I'm going to spend some time alone, get to know myself, and see who I am these days and whether or not I can stand myself...
Strangely enough, even though I'm feeling pretty wasted and miserable, I'm getting all kinds of productive. I started taking the steps necessary to fix some of the problems in my life today and... I applied at the local community college.
No really, I did!
Tomorrow I gotta call and have my transcripts sent over so that's a bit of a drag, but with a little luck I'll get enrolled and registered before May 8th and I'll be able to sign up for summer classes. I'm excited. It's only community college, but still. No more being a 24 year old college drop out. I'm gonna go back, I'm going to pick a damn major, and I'm going to get a degree, dangit.
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